Today I met with Dr. Cacdac about next steps. Leading up to the appointment I was oddly relived. I've spent so much time thinking about the awful things that are going to happen without actually knowing what will happen. It felt good to be able to finally get something close to news. 

We met with him and essentially he said, yeah, it's not large. It's not super worrisome. It's cancer, so that sucks, but here's the next steps. 

I was so grateful. For the first time in about 2 weeks I wasn't afraid that I was going to die. Because that's where my head has been. I'm going to die and leave my family without a good support system. 

I still have cancer. And that sucks. But today I feel more hopeful that I've felt in weeks